1 year 8 months.
It's been 1 year 8 months since I old you for the first time.. I can't believe I almost let you go but I couldn't. I couldn't bear the pain of giving you away, but I never thought of the pain of losing you forever.
But I knew you're leaving. I've been feeling weird these past few days. I don't know why but I miss you so much even when I can still hear your voice. You came in my dream few days ago, but I couldn't remember what it was. Guess you were trying to say goodbye.
Actually Afiq were the one who found out that he's gone. He sat down next to me.. "Sayang.. Fluffy......" and there was a long pause. At least to me it was long. Because I was screaming inside, please don't say that he's gone. Please. Please.... And the word came out from his mouth.. That fluffy is gone. I thought he was joking. I scolded him to not make such stupid joke. It's not funny. I hoped he was joking. I wanted it to be a stupid joke! But deep inside I knew he wasn't. I kept denying the truth. I keep scolding him and asked him to quit it. Stop telling me it's true. But tears kept flowing out and I couldn't stop. I asked him to check again.. Fluffy was just sleeping! Maybe he was just too tired! Or too bloated to move...
But when I went to check on Fluffy, he was lying down like he was sleeping. I was trying to convince myself that he was just sleeping. He looked like he was in a deep sleep. So calm but so stiff... He wasn't moving at all.. He wasn't breathing..
My dear baby boy... I hope you will remember me as I will always remember you. I'm sorry I couldn't be a good mom to you. I am sorry I was a terrible terrible owner. But I swear I love you with all my heart. I love you, Fluffy.. Plapito.. I'm gonna miss you so much. Rest in piece my sweet boy Plapito.