Slider

11.26.2013

Something To Keep In Mind



Jika anda hilang segala-galanya, jangan lupa,
kerana anda masih mempunyai masa depan.




Dilemma

Mengikut adat Melayu ;
"Selagi tak kaya, jangan nikah."

Mengikut Syara' Islam;
"Nak kaya, nikah."


I am halfway there. Almost there. But sometimes it seems like it's still a long way to go. Why? Because of adat. Ikut adat, kena ada duit banyak banyakkk. Ikut ada, kena buat majlis besar besarrrr. Ikut adat, kena jemput ramai ramaiiii. Tak ikut adat, kena fitnah.

Honestly, I am stuck in between. Kadang-kadang aku malas nak ikut adat sebab nak utamakan yang Syara'. Tapi bila buat macam tu, dengan umur yang sangat muda.. Mulut orang akan mengata;


  1. "Dah gatal sangat nak kahwin!"
  2. "Kena tangkap la tu."
  3. "Perut dah nak besar. Sebab tu nak cepat kahwin."


Yes memang nikah benda yang bagus. Tapi sebab hidup di Malaysia ni, dengan mindset orang yang entah apa-apa, terpaksa ikut adat sebab nak jaga maruah keluarga. Nak jaga diri dan keluarga dari difitnah.

Dan sesetengah orang akan kata, "biarlah apa orang nak kata, asalkan kita bahagia." Betul tu. Tapi kalau kita je happy tapi keluarga tak happy macam mana? Keluarga nak kita ikut adat. Sebab nak tutup mulut orang. Macam mana?????????

Dan benda akan berbalik kepada masalah pertama tadi.

Sejujurnya memang aku ada dream wedding tersendiri. Mestilah aku nak perkahwinan yang sempurna penuh adat. Starting with a proposal (walaupun dah tunang, teringin jugak!!), bridal shower (kata pon dream wedding), malam berinai, nikah. Nak pakai baju putih dengan veil yang ditempah khas kat Rizman (demand tak beragak), kalau boleh nak nikah kat dewan so keluarga belah Abah leh datang. Hantaran bertemakan putih purple yang simple tapi elegant.

Majlis bersanding pulak, kalau ikutkan hati nak buat sekali je dengan pihak lelaki. Boleh buat sekali grand terus. Grand tapi simple :) Mungkin boleh buat kat hotel kalau mampu atau golf club ke. Dinner RSVP senang sikit. So ibu tak penat. Tema wedding purple putih silver. Dikelilingi bunga hydrengea purple & putih yang diimport khas!!


Lepas bersanding, naik white horse carriage dengan Afiq. Waaah! Nak pergi mana pon tak tau. Hahahah. Over lak. Kata pon dream wedding! I'm just a normal girl after all :)



Selalunya pengantik perempuan sampai naik kuda kan? Tak nak la. Tak nak naik sorang-sorang. Nak naik dengan dia. Hek hek hek hok. 

But all I am really asking for is to be with the man who can love me even after my last breath. All I really want is to be with the one I love, legally.

For me, aku percaya rezeki tu akan datang melimpah ruah lepas kahwin. Sebab kahwin tu adalah rezeki. Dan aku bukan kahwin sebab dah tak sabar sangat atau gatal sangat atau sebab sayang sangat. Errr part sayang sangat tu betul la. The more reason aku nak halalkan hubungan aku dengan dia cepat.

Tapi yang pasti, aku nak nikah hanyalah kerana Allah.

11.15.2013

My Fav Flower

So cantik, kan?
Wish I could hold this on my wedding day ;)

11.12.2013

I Am Beautiful!




He's the only who can accept me for who I am. He's the only guy who can put up with me no matter how many times I messed up. He's the one who will fix everything even when I was the one that fucked things up. He saw my dark side, he saw my demon, but he still thinks that I am the most beautiful girl.

He's a blessing that God gave me. He's the Imam that Allah sent me, insyaAllah. He's always there, for me. Always here.. with me. He sees the beauty in me when I can only see the ugliest girl in the mirror. He brings out the best in me.

Happy 11th monthsary, Sayang 
It will be our first anniversary next month  and to many many many many more!!

I still wish that we could be like this 10 years ago, but Allah knows best. We wouldn't be here if we were together 10 years ago. 

Wǒ ài nǐ  burp~

11.07.2013

A Lil Something 'Bout Me

INFp - "The Romantic"

In a relationship you are optimistic and idealistic about the future and your goal is to create an ideal rapport between you and your partner. You are not afraid to reveal your romantic and affectionate nature and greatly depend on your emotions to guide you. You often have difficulties with coherent logical analysis and thus can never be sure about your intellectual abilities. You enjoy relations with important and influential people.



I Am What I Am

Messy, 
irritable, 

depressed, 

fragile, 

worrying, 

emotionally sensitive, 

does not like to lead,  

phobic, 

weird, 

suspicious, 

low self control, 

paranoid, 

frequently second guesses self, 

dependent, 

unproductive, 

introverted, 

weak, 

strange, 

unassertive,  
??
submissive, 
??????
familiar with the dark side of life, 

feels invisible, 

rash, 
✔ (frick!)
vain, 

anti-authority, 

heart over mind, 

low self concept, 

disorganized, 

not good at saving money, 

avoidant, 

daydreamer, 

unadventurous 



Well.. that's all pretty much about me. Wow :O

Zaman Millenium?

Zaman sekarang, boleh dikatakan semua orang ada facebook. Dari la budak 5 tahun sampailah nenek berusia 90tahun ++ . Dan boleh dikatakan semua addicted tak sudah dengan facebook. Pagi petang siang malam facebook.

Salah satu sebab aku dah tak rajin bersosial network adalah kerana facebook. Because EVERYONE IS ON FACEBOOK. EVERYONE. Parents, aunties, uncles. Especially people who loves sticking their nose into other people's butt business.

We can see puerile behaviour of these facebookers everyday. Ada yang suka bergaduh kat facebook, ada yang suka kepochi kat facebook, ada yang suka luahkan perasaan kat facebook, ada yang suka cerita hal peribadi kat facebook, ada jugak yang update conversation tak penting and tak kelakar langsung kat facebook. How can people be so dense????

Sekarang ni boleh dikatakan hari-hari ada je video panas yang tersebar kat facebook. And it goes viral in only one day! The power of "netorking". If only dorang gunakan networking tu untuk jalan yang betul. Sekarang trend, "macam comel je". Seriously aku lagi menyampah orang yang duk ajuk ajuk benda tu dari video asal. Dia buat video tu syok sendiri ke apa ke, lantaklah. Kenapa mesti sebarkan? Tak suka, delete. Tak suka, block.

Dan hari ni video baru pulak tersebar. A couple sibuk duk kiss pipi sambil jalan2 kat mall. Bila baca komen.... Penuh dengan caci maki, kononnya nak tegakkan agama. Nak menegur kerana agama, kerana Allah, tapi keluarkan kata-kata kesat. Siapa yang ajar buat macam tu?

What I'm trying to say is, what if dorang dah berkahwin? Fikir positif dulu.. Kalau dorang belum berkahwin pon, kita maki maki dia, mengumpat dia, apa beza kita dengan dia? Dah tu kita buka aib dia.. siap sebarkan sana sini.

"Kita simpan Aib org lain, Allah akan simpan Aib kita..."


I know I am not in the place nak bercakap tentang agama kerana aku sendiri tak sempurna. Tapi aku akan cuba sehabis boleh untuk elakkan dosa-dosa macam ni. Macam mana kita nak minta maaf dengan dorang? Macam mana kalau tu video orang tengok, orang share, dan orang lain lak buat benda yang sama? Kita yang tanggung semua tu. Dan alasan orang yang share tu tak masuk akal.

"Bukan niat nak buka aib dorang. Dorang yang buka aib sendiri."

So? Berhentikan sebar. Apa susah? Lepas dah share, mula mengumpat pulak. And it goes viral again. Kita tak tahu berapa ramai yang tengok hasil kita share. Pernah terfikir tak apa akan jadi kat orang yang korang buka aib tu? Macam mana orang akan pandang dorang, judge dorang. Yes, memang dorang patut amik benda tu semua sebagai pengajaran. Tapi benda ni akan effect life dorang.

Orang yang suka menyebarkan aib orang tu pon, lebih kurang je. Kalau tengok status dorang, adododoiiii!! Bila-bila masa je orang boleh buka aib dorang pulak. What if it happens to you? What will happen to your family? Pernah terfikir? Pernah dengar karma? What goes around, comes around. Mungkin bukan kena kat batang hidung sendiri. Tapi one day kita semua akan ada anak. Renung-renungkanlah.

Assalamualaikum.

11.01.2013

Some Feelings



“There are 
some feelings
you will never
find words for;

you will learn
to name them
after the ones
who gave them
to you.”

— Maza - Dohta

One Year Ago


"Someday someone will walk into your life and make you
see why it never worked out with anyone else"


It's been a year since I went to the first (and last) job interview. It has been a year since I got accepted  for my first (and last) job. Who would have thought I would ended up sitting next to him, my ex-classmate whom I haven't talk to since 2008 out of hundreds of seats! I am not exeggarating. There are more than 100 seats there. Nooo I didn't end up sitting next to any strangers and just bump into him somehow. But I had to sit next to him because my first computer that I've been assigned to got locked.

Took me more than 30 minutes to realize that I am sitting next to my ex-classmate.
Took me a month to realize that I am falling for this guy.
Took me 8 months to get engaged to him.

But exactly 1 year 1 day ago, the night before my first day at new first (and last) job, I was on facebook, scrolling down the boring news feed when I saw his update.

"Danial Afiq Azman changed his profile picture"

Eh? Sejak bila dia ada dalam friendlist? Handsome jugak dia sekarang.

And I got carried away,  drifted in my thoughts of how my life would be if I'm with him. Tiba-tiba esok duduk sebelah dia! True story. Mungkin takdir? Sebelum ni memang tak tau dia ada dalam friendlist. Tapi malam tu tiba-tiba nampak gambar dia.

Banyak yang dah berubah dalam setahun ni.

1 November 2012
I was broken..
I thought I could never be happy again..
I thought I would never find a better guy..
I thought I would never love anyone ever again..

1 November 2013
I'm happy..
I found my happiness..
I am engaged to a perfect man..
I couldn't find anyone better than my fiance..
I have never loved anyone like I love my fiance..

Thank you, for making my life better. Thank you, for making me a better person. Thank you, for everything you did for me. Thank you, for your undying love. Thank you, for dragging me out of the darkness. Thank you, for being the best for me.

Thank you, for being mine.